All things human

Posts tagged ‘Parenting’

I STAND WITH CHERISH

Baby Peterson

Cherish Peterson, a mother of four young kids, said she was horrified to realize she drove off from a grocery store in Arizona last week without her two-month-old son and since then, there’s been a roller coaster reaction on social media.

Here is the story Cherish Peterson

In my own family, we have told the story for decades about my Mum (now 95) leaving my sister outside the grocery store and actually driving home without her precious bundle.  That bundle was left, along with other prams, outside the grocery store while mothers did their groceries!!  Ahhh the good ol’ days.

My heart goes out to this family – every one of us has made some mistake that could have, given different circumstances, turned out to be a life/death situation. Unfortunately, Cherish and her husband have to respond to the social media outcry and actually defend an innocent mistake whereas my Mum just has to put up with friendly, family joking.

Here is the Facebook address set up for Cherish

I would love to hear from you “If social media had been around when I was a kid/parent oh the story it would have made!!!”

Oh my gosh I have so many :

  • Standing up in the back of Dad’s pick up truck while he stops and starts trying to make us fall down (my sister fell OUT!!!)
  • Having “just one sip” of beer as a really young child
  • Learning how to target practice at the tender age of 8???
  •  I lost track of the number of times my youngest got lost in stores, arenas, busy public places

10 THINGS TO TEACH YOUR KIDS!

This is such great advice…I’m pretty sure I did an “alright” job at conveying these lessons to my sons – they certainly seem to have got the message; however, in today’s world of parenting where it seems more and more that children are NOT given the chance to fail, to hurt, to be sad, parents may need a refresher course on these crucial teachings.

See the complete article posted by mom.me   here

As parents, we have the responsibility to model resilience for our kids. To teach them to manage disappointment. To show them that not every slight is life-altering—and that a medical diagnosis and not making the varsity team don’t deserve the same emotional response.

Here’s what I want my kids—and yours—to know:

1. Sad happens. If you live and breathe, unhappy things will happen to you and those you love. No amount of education or money or therapy will shield you from disappointment and grief. Prepare for these moments by knowing they will come, but embrace life to the fullest in the in-between spaces.

2. Mitigate regret. When you’re young, regret is a vague concept. But as you get older, it hits you square in the nose. Do your best to honor yourself and others every day so you don’t look back with a whole lot of woulda, shoulda, couldas under your belt. Ask yourself, “How will I look back on this decision? With pride? With embarrassment?” Then, go from there.

3. Guilt is just a feeling. Does guilt have its place? Sure. But when you feel guilty about something, acknowledge it for what it is—an emotion—and do your best to move on. Don’t allow your lives to be stalled or crippled by this Sneaky Pete. And sever ties with anyone who preys on that guilt to control or manipulate you.

4. It’s not always about you. Someone says something unkind? Criticizes you unfairly? More often than not, they’re talking about themselves. Haters feel hated, so they lash out at others. If you take a moment to understand this, you’ll be able to shake it—and them—off more quickly.

5. Not every feeling is worthy of a Petri dish. There will be plenty of opportunities to reflect on your own behaviors or those of others. Do yourself a favor, and don’t get sucked into putting every conversation or interaction under a microscope. You’ll be exhausted by the time you’re 30.

6. Don’t expect perfection. Even the people you love and trust will say and do things that really sting. Learn now that relationships are complex in all of their beauty and pain. If you expect your inner circle will always get it right, you’re setting yourself up for crushing disappointment.

7. Run from drama. We all get caught up in it. It can be mesmerizing but, more often than not, it’s an energy-drain. You have better things to do with your time than getting caught in a web of high emotion with a very low return.

8. Take the blame. If you consistently point the finger at others to account for your unhappiness and mistakes, you’re doomed for doom. Even when fault seems to fall squarely on another’s shoulders, ask yourself, “What part did I play in this? How could I have handled it differently?” Without this ability, you’re signing up for a life of bitterness with a capital B.

9. Choose wisely. Most things in life have a choice component. Staying in a bad relationship? Your choice. Continuing to work for an abusive boss? Same. Exercise your autonomy by recognizing situations in which you’re able to make healthy changes to your benefit.

10. Find your tribe. Surround yourself with like-minded people who respect and like you (and vice-versa). By linking your life to those who challenge and inspire you, you’ll find you have less time for the drama queens and kings, and more time for peace, equilibrium, and goal-setting. Any relationship that brings you down instead of lifting you up messes with your soul. Move on from toxic people as quickly as your legs will carry you.

 

Mother’s Day Tribute

MOTHERS
This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s okay honey, Mommy’s here.”
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can’t be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON’T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see me, Mom?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn’t find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then read it again. “Just one more time.”
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home — or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.
This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman’s child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love… sometimes totally unappreciated!
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation…And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray. “Home is what catches you when you fall – and we all fall.”

NEW SEX ED CURRICULUM IN ONTARIO

Apparently Ontario has been slow to change the curriculum surrounding sex education  (last update was in 1998) compared to the other provinces in Canada.  I applaud the changes. They are a reflection of the way things are in 2015.

Not everyone is happy; people are protesting; parents, politicians, and religious representatives are opposed to the schools teaching our children about sex in 2015.  I’m a little confused. I don’t understand what they think will happen to our children – because they learn about homosexuality, will they “become” gay?  if they (more…)

ELIJAH MARSH

This little boy is 3 year old, Elijah MarshElijah Marsh

Here is a security camera picture of Elijah leaving his apartment in the early hours, clad only in a diaper, a t-shirt and boots…

Elijah Marsh leaving apt

This little boy, his parents, his extended family, and my own family have been in my thoughts and prayers since the tragic story came out last week in Toronto, Canada.  I knew that I wanted to write about him…but I couldn’t decide what to write.  Little Elijah was a typical little boy, described as somewhat shy  – his story ended in tragedy, he was found hours after this picture was captured, curled up in a back yard some 300 metres from his home.

As a mother, my heart hurts for Elijah’s mother, Georgette…I am angered at people who have posted hurtful suggestions that bad parenting is the reason for this tragedy.  I want to write to those insensitive people, I want to write about my own experiences as a mother who has had both of my sons “go missing” for that split second, I want to write about how grateful I am that my own story did not end in tragedy, I want to write about grief, I want to write about gratitude, I want to write about the compassion that steered another father to set up a fund for Elijah’s family that has now raised over $150,000, I want to write about WHY WHY…why does this have to happen…In the end, I think that the answer to what I want to write about is that I really just want to share this story and hopefully everyone who reads it, will have their own personal reaction.

Please read about a little 3 year old boy, who really could be any one of our own children – Elijah

PEDESTRIAN SAFETY

I thought that with school back in, I would repost this one…The thing is we should teach out children, but more and more I see parents being stupid..yes I say stupid…really stupid….just watching for the “GO” signal and then whoosh…right off the sidewalk we go!!!  Not even a glance to see if that car – you know the one that can kill you if it hits you – has stopped or even if the driver has seen you while he is texting, eating or even making a sandwich!!!  I just don’t get it people – stop texting while you are walking, take the damn music out of your ears and be alert as you walk around!!!  It is BOTH drivers and pedestrians that can stop the tragedy  that can happen when we just step off the curb without looking….

 

Look Both Ways!!

Cars are still bigger than us!!

LOOK BOTH WAYS – TEACH YOUR CHILDREN

I was stopped behind a school bus yesterday that had the arm out.  I watched as the wee ones and older ones filed out of the bus and walked right in front of me without even so much as a glance right and left.  Some of the parents of the younger ones were actually encouraging their children to run to them for the “after school hug”.  I said to myself – “so this is when it starts“.

It has always been a beef of mine when I see young children, teenagers and adults just stepping off of the sidewalk without a care in the world.  My parents drilled it into my head that “I don’t care if you have the right away – that car is still bigger than you”.  When did we stop teaching our children to look both ways before crossing the street?

(more…)

CHILDHOOD – The Last Time

THE LAST TIME – A POEM FOR PARENTS

CHILDREN – THEY GROW UP WAY TOO FAST

Parenting - The Last Poem

As I am nearing my 53rd birthday and my two sons have just celebrated their 24th and 27th birthdays, it is  definitely time to reflect on WHERE DID THE TIME GO!!!  There are a few “time travel” movies coming out this year and it got me thinking “if I could travel to a place in time when would it be”.  At first I thought I’d love to go to a simpler time prior to industrialization, or maybe even into the future, but in the end, I would go to somewhere around 1992 when by sons were 4 and 2 – I would hug them, hold them on my lap, smell them –  and not worry that they are late going down for a nap or that my laundry is piling up – because looking back now I know that time (more…)

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